Sometimes it's just sad...

I know dealing with Josh on a daily basis can be exhausting, maddening and overwhelming. However sometimes it is just sad. Mike was faxed a copy of a letter from Josh's therapist office. This letter is to appeal to our insurance company to get more services for Josh. I know he is bipolar but somehow seeing it in writing mad it very real. The words "serious mental health condition" just stopped me cold in my tracks. I am not sure why that was. I mean I deal with him every day, I know what he is like. I know that he doesn't eat before 11.00 in the morning after his meds kick in. I know he likes to watch sponge bob or Tom and Jerry in the morning. I know that anything any given day can and will set him off. I guess I just keep hoping beyond all hope that he will get better. That he will stop screaming and hitting me and his siblings on a daily basis. Hope that he will learn that when I go to the next room I have not disappeared. Hope that he will someday grow up become a husband and father and that we can sit and laugh about all of this. Sometimes it is just all to sad to think about.